Friday, February 11, 2011

took this photo the other day on the cell phone

i am dreaming of summer......

took this photo this past summer

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

To The Father I Never Had.....

He sat with his back against the warm Summer wall

I knelt beside him and stared at him

I was a child

His hair was long and black with silver threaded through it

He looked over at me, "What are you staring at?" His tone was irritated but calm

"At you...I think you are beautiful.." I said in a whisper

He leaned his head back against the wall..And laughed..

I could see the silver in his teeth

He looked at me then, with eyes like warm chocolate, and smiled

"What is beautiful about me?" He asked amused

"Well, the wrinkles where your tears have have made paths down your cheeks.."

And the wrinkles that surround your lips and eyes where you have laughed

And the weathered look of your hands..It means you have worked hard in your life..And you know struggle..And what it means to be a man

He looked at me like a wounded animal..Sorrow and gentleness replacing his mirth

He said, "Child where did you come from? And How did you get to be so wise?"

I said, "You taught me the ways in which the heart flows..And to look beyond the physical life..To peer into the soul of all around me and see their worth."

He smiled at me again, gently and pulled me into his arms...

"I love you little one...You are bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh. And I will protect your tender heart from the hardness of this life."

But if I can't, let the wind, and the trees and the sky and the stars and the spirits that are good surround you in all unity and preserve the heart that loves so much, yours

Rue Zimmerman December 7, @2010

Saturday, November 13, 2010

I had a dream last night....A nightmare really. I was in a house, not mine. It was surrounded with clutter. Much worse than mine could ever be. I felt like I was drowning.

I thought of you at that moment....And I wanted to talk to you immediately when I woke up....

But I could not, for you have eradicated me, annihilated me...Made me vanish from your life..Burnt my memory. Whispered my name to the wind to carry a message to me...It said, "I love you, I love you, I love you....But it hurts too much to hold on.."

I received the message in a dream.

I opened my eyes, when I awoke, I stared into your eyes looming above me...And I wanted to die at that moment..Sorrow hit me in waves,.

I tell myself I am over you. Tell my friends I am over you. I tell my heart to stop loving you.

Rue @ 2010

Thursday, November 11, 2010

My Plan is This

1. Find work

2. Find a way to keep my power on

3. Find a way to get food

4. Find a way to keep the rest of my utilities on

5 Work on getting all my writing together

6. Get the grant I need to self- publish

7. To be independent

8. Go back to church, I need it

9. Try as hard as I can to be a better person

Basic plan

Rue @2010